


Paint Me In Yellow

by Vitalipok



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst, Death, M/M, MCR, POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-16
Updated: 2014-07-16
Packaged: 2018-02-09 04:12:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1968546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vitalipok/pseuds/Vitalipok
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You have probably heard how people were being cured of homosexuality in the XX century. Here is about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Paint Me In Yellow

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Нарисуй меня жёлтым](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/61956) by fucking_perfect. 



> This is my first translation from russian into english. I would appreciate your comments. ;)

Gerard doesn’t like pills. But they’re better than things that happen in the room of electroshock therapy. After the pills his hands don’t shake and Gerard can firmly hold a pencil, drawing strange symbols sometimes names and sometimes little yellow men.

Gerard doesn’t like yellow but little men for some reason always turn out to be this colour. There is only a bed in his room so he often draws on the floor.

Recently after visiting the horrible room- that’s what he calls the room of this very therapy- _she_ comes. Gerard doesn’t know who _she_ is. _She_ wears all black, and _she_ has no mouth, and _she_ always makes him recall… recall what has been before.

*

“Hi! My name is Frank. Yours?”

A tiny boy in a white shirt and black trousers with a sunny smile lends a hand to a scared Gee.

“Hi,” he replies timidly, shaking this Frank boy’s hand, - “Gerard.”

“What are you drawing?”

The boy sits at his table. Gerard hesitates. He doesn’t like it when someone looks at his drawings but Frank is smiling so he can’t be rude.

“Nothing…”

“Wow! Is it a dog?” The boy marvels, “You draw cool, Gerard.”

“Thank you,” Gerard smiles and hesitates again.

“Can you draw me the same?” Frank asks suddenly, “I have a red ribbon. You’ll draw me a dog and I’ll give you this tape, deal?”

“Why do I need a ribbon?” Gerard wonders.

“You can tie it on your hand. Like this,” with these words he takes Gerard’s thin white wrist and ties the ribbon around it.

“Beautiful!” Frank smiles sincerely.

Gerard likes it too.

“Will you paint me?”

“I will.”

“Let it be in yellow…”

*

After visiting the canteen Gerard takes pills and goes to electroshock.

Sometimes when the fog in his mind disperses, and the sounds and his view become clear, he notices that his gown is blue (how symbolic), and the porridge in the canteen is grey, his mom wears her red coat and she has dark circles under her eyes, and his dad turned grey… In one of those moments he heard his parents talking to his doctor about lo-bo-to-my. They’re going to cut something out of his head.

Gerard doesn’t want to be cut, that’s why he cries more often and little men become dirty yellow, she becomes more quiet, and the pictures in his head become brighter and brighter.

*

“What is it, Frankie?”

“It’s weed, baby.”

They’re fourteen now. It’s been ten years since they first met in the kindergarten, and Frank decided to celebrate this ‘anniversary’ with smoking their first ever joint, which he had gotten from seniors.

“But… But it’s prohibited!”

“Shh, Gee, don’t be a brat. Inhale.”

Gerard doesn’t manage to do it with the first try and coughs until he starts to see dark circles. Frank giggles quietly, but not wickedly at him.

Awhile later they lie on Gerard’s bed breathing in unison, their hands and thighs touching.

Suddenly, Frank grabs his hand.

“You haven’t taken it off,” he whispers.

“What?”

“The ribbon. You haven’t taken it off.”

“Yep…”

Gerard is a bit stoned so he doesn’t notice right away when Frank leans over him.

“What’s the matter, Frankie?”

“You have beautiful lips,” he replies with a strange hoarseness in his voice, suddenly kissing him.

The kiss is bitter like the weed they’ve just smoked, clumsy, because it was Gerard’s first kiss, but also brave, like Frank’s actions, long, like their friendship, strong, manly, wrong, prohibited…

*

After electroshock Gerard feels extremely weak. He has a headache, his mouth is a desert, hands and legs don’t obey, but now he can stay in his room for the rest of the day.

_She_ waits for him looking out of the black corner wearing all black. Gerard got used to _her_ but he couldn’t get used to the memories. He takes a sheet of paper and a pencil from under his bed and writes ‘Frankie’ curvedly with shaking hands. He kisses the inscription, laying the sheet on his chest and lying down on his pillow. He waits.

*

Only flesh slaps, muted moans and quiet squeaking of a bed are audible in the room.

Gerard doesn’t understand right away that someone has come in; he was too busy concentrating on the movements of Frank’s throbbing cock inside him. He realizes that something is wrong when Frank stops, pulling out of him, when the silence reigns, as if someone has turned off the sound and he hears Frank quietly saying:

“Missis Way?”

Donna doesn’t yell at them. She tells Frank to leave and never come back, and Gerard is told to get to the living room for a serious talk.

For the whole hour she talks about how wrong this type of relationship is and for the whole hour Gerard repeats “I love him”. He will be of age in two weeks and he regrets that his mom has caught them before his birthday.

She threatens him with psychiatric hospital and something else but Gerard starts to listen only on the words: “…people who will make things happen to him so that he won’t be able to walk…”

“You won’t do it!”

“I will. Break up with him and you’ll save him.”

Gerard can’t believe that his mom would say this, his beloved mommy. But it is so.

The next day they’re sitting on a swing at a children’s playground and Gerard says with numb lips that he has realized that their relationship is wrong and that he has confused friendship with love and that it will be better for them to break up. Frank keeps silent while Gerard speaks, then when Gerard stops he says:

“You promised to paint me. Will you paint me?”

Gerard is shocked with this question and doesn’t know how to answer.

“Paint me in yellow,” Frank continues, smiling exhaustedly as he stands up and leaves.

In three days Gerard discovers that Frank, his Frank, his sunny bunny who liked everything yellow, cut his veins in the bathroom without having left any notes. And in three more days he asks his mother to take him to the clinic.

*

Tears dim his eyes but he can see _her_ crystal clear.

“Take me,” he cries, “Take me to him.”

But _she_ keeps silent. _She_ has no mouth.

 


End file.
